This past year I have felt like a part of me is trying to wake up. It is something in the background that’s trying to break through my conscience. I wrote a post in spring about wildness and how becoming more alined with nature is the next level of living a Low Impact Life. I’ve spent this year trying to formulate what that means and how to do it. It’s been like trying to remember a dream and I only get flashes here and there. The phrase wild woman has stuck with me and has lit a little fire of curiosity in me. Who is the wild woman? What are her values? Do I have a wild woman within? I am setting out on a journey during 2020 to find a way to reconnect with my inner wild woman.
I was a wild child. Not in the way wild is used as a negative word (i.e. rebellious, naughty or disobedient) but in a peaceful and close to nature sort of way. Growing up my family lived in an old wooden house with nature, fields, woods, wild animals and farm animals right on our doorstep eventhough it was located close to Stockholm city center. It was an incredible privilege to grow up in such a magical place.
We spent most weekends and all summer on our boat in the archipelago. We were outside almost constantly except for sleeping or if it was really cold or rainy (by really cold and rainy I mean freezing and pouring – otherwise we lived by the Swedish saying: there is no bad weather only bad clothes). I loved playing in and exploring nature and have always been drawn towards nature and animals. During the summers I was always barefoot, half naked and dirty. The first thing I remember wanting to be when I grew up was a wildlife photographer/documentary filmmaker (it’s never too late…!).
Women (and men) need to behave a certain way and look a certain way to fit into the standardized mold of society and I have also over time adjusted myself to try to fit in the mold. I have thought it was just the process of growing up and becoming an adult but I have started to realize that it doesn’t have to be that way. Much of mainstream living does not appeal to me and Mr LIL. For the past couple of years Mr LIL and I have been on a path that has been leading us away from mainstream because we have other things we want out of life than hanging out in the hamster wheel. It has taken quite some time to become secure enough in who I am to forge my own path and not care what other people will think. I think this journey has opened up a space for my wild woman to start being heard again.
Now that I have started to pay attention to my wild woman I have realized that she was never gone. The wild woman is the part of me that has been pushing me to find myself beyond what society expects me to be. I have many examples of her guiding me to muster up the courage to take the road less traveled.
The biggest sign that my wild woman was never gone is my feather tattoo. I have always loved feathers and it has become a symbol of my wild spirit (what I now realize is my wild woman) that I held on to when I was going through hard times. The essence of me was still there even though my mind or outer world was in turmoil. That is why I decided to manifest it through a tattoo. A reminder that my wild spirit (woman) is always with me.
So 2020 is the year where I tune into and embrace my wild woman even more and in a more conscious way. My plan for reconnecting with my wild woman:
- Creating my optimal habitat
- Connecting to nature
- Rewilding my body and mind
Creating my optimal habitat
I want to create an outer environment that is based on what my inner animal needs to thrive. I have already come far along this path. Eating a natural diet, incorporating natural movement, exposing myself to more natural light and less harmful light and trying to be outdoors as much as I can. This is much of what I have been doing for the past years (read more here). A big aspect of this is moving to our house in the spring of 2020. There I will have a much greater opportunity to be outside on a regular basis in our garden and in the nature reserve just behind our house.
Connecting with nature
I want to go deep and immerse myself in nature during 2020. I want to really engage all my senses. Touching the earth and vegetation with my hands, laying down in it and through my feet when barefoot. Listening to the birds, the wind, the insects, the trees, the water and the soundtrack of nature. Observing the colors, seasons, species. Tasting by foraging wild foods. Smelling to be able to pick out the different scents of nature. I also want to learn more about Swedish nature to understand the ecosystem around us. We will also be able to explore and get to know the nature reserve outside our new house. This will lay a base to then figure out how I can help protect the nature in Sweden.
Rewilding my body and mind
I need to start listening to my own body and mind. To check in and trust my intuition. To bring forth my feminine energy. To experience my body and minds reaction to cold showers, swimming in the ocean, saunas, physical exercise, meditation and play. To feel the connection to all living things. This won’t be possible unless I work on the first area because removing things like sugar cravings, hormonal birth control, vitamin deficiency, alcohol, distractions in the form of social media and consumer impulses will open up a space for me to be able to feel and connect to my own unaffected senses.
I feel like everything I have been doing for the past couple of years on my Low Impact Life journey has lead me to this point. Slowly but surely peeling away societys conditioning and leading me to the starting point of truly embarcing myself and mother earth. 2020 is going to be an exciting year!